THE PEEPING EYES

It was a sunday morning in the month of January. I had developed pain in my ankle and instead of visiting an allopathic doctor, i decided to visit a naturopathy doctor in gurukul.

As i reached there,i waited for sometime before i could meet a young pretty lady doctor. She listened patiently to what i narrated her about my problem. As i was talking to her,two eyes were continuously peeping inside from the foggy glass window which was in front of me .Although the doctor didn't notice those curious peeping eyes but i couldn't stop myself from noticing them.I felt as if i had seen them somewhere before but couldn't recollect where had I seen them. 

          After the consultation ,i came out with the prescription slip and as i was heading towards the small ayurvedic medicine store adjacent to the doctor's room ,a boy came running to me and lo he was the same boy who had been peeping inside while i was talking to the doctor. "Hey, are you from APS school?," i enquired him trying to recollect his name.

"Mam,didn't you recognize me?",the fair skinned boy with small eyes and thin body snapped back instead of answering my question. I was taken aback and i tried to remember his name but couldn't as for sometime i had developed a tendency of forgetting names of students still i tried my level best but in vain.

"How can you forget me mam,i am Aanand and you are Preeti mam,aren't you?.How can you forget me? You were the one who caught my personal diary in class  eighth  three years ago and inspite of my endless requests, you handed it over to the discipline incharge,hmmmm......Urvashi mam.I kept on pleading to  be innocent but both of you were not ready to listen to me. Don't you really remember anything????How is that possible, mam?", he almost retorted back  with questioning eyes almost turning red with some some sort of disbelief. He questioned me as if he wanted to settle some old scores with me.I was totally dumbstruck. I observed him again tip to toe and tried to revisit that year when i had taken eighth class for the last time. I pressed hard and i remembered the naughty and rowdy eighth'  b'  which was interested in everything except studies  .Oh,i remembered how i had to struggle almost everyday and still so many of them never brought text books or notebooks inspite of regular written reminders to their parents!  Oh...how they were ever ready to go to music room on one pretext or the other ! Even some were the favourites of  the sportsteacher.And one day while i was teaching in the class, Aanand,,then a short heighted boy with  the most innocent looks was caught red handed with his personal diary but he was not ready to hand it over to me .My sixth sense said something was wrong although  his gullible looks stopped me from thinking so .I picked up his diary which he was hiding under his book.A red diary with colourful beginning was browsed by me quickly. I was apalled to read the love poetry perhaps composed by that innocent looking boy.Further he had expressed  his feelings  ,perhaps about  the girl he liked and this clear expression of love by that kid shocked me beyond words. Inspite of  incessant requests made by Aanand ,i thought it appropriate to consult the discipline incharge, mrs urvashi, a very mature,calm,composed and experienced teacher who was known for handling the cases of indiscipline immaculately. After that the proceedings in that case  were not discussed and disclosed to anyone so that the child may not be bullied by anyone in the class and the case was solved amicably with the help of parents of the child. Thus after a normal discussion in the staffroom about Aanand  and his daring act ,it was forgotten by me and i was relaxed that i had saved a child from going astray .The religious act of teaching and counselling children continued with sweet and bitter experiences. As it was the year's end,i almost forgot that child and never got to teach that section in future.

      "Mam,what are you thinking? Haven't  you recognized me yet?", Aanand  shook me out of the stupor. I looked at him disbelievingly as the short heighted kid had turned into a fully grown up tall man with mature looks."Mam, your decision of not listening to me had proved fatal to me.It almost turned my life topsy-turvy." He continued without noticing my  astonished and troubled eyes."Eeehhh...actually ...",I tried to say something but he didn't want to listen to me .He just wanted to speak his mind that day." Mam, mam, don't you know what happened afterwards!!!! " " N..ooo ,not at all"." Mam, Urvashi mam called my father and showed that diary.I had penned down  my innocent feelings for my classmate Roopi . I felt i had done nothing wrong but my father turned my life into a hell.I was rebuked and beaten for days .I was not allowed to attend the school after that.our relationship became bitter and we were like enemies living under one roof. After  passing eighth class, i was admitted to Gurukul.Not only i ,even my younger brother had to face the brunt of my mistake. He was also admitted to gurukul and punished for something not done by him.Mam,both of us had to leave our favourite school and life has never been the same after that.Saying this,he almost took a long ....sigh......" " By that time i had started feeling guilty to the core of my heart.I was dumbstruck and became speechless.Chill was travelling down my spine.

Horrified and petrified, i dared to ask him in a meek voice" what had been your experience here? I mean ....guru..kul is a nice institution. Children excel in various fields from this school...." ..".yes mam but the life changes altogether once you are a part of this institution. ". "How??" I enquired. "Mam,you are grilled, abused and beaten by the warden.You are transported away from the cosy comforts of your house to a totally opposite world full of cruelty and devoid of emotions. I was bullied in the hostel by the seniors. Sometimes i was wrongly accused of the sins i had not committed. Mam,.....this  impassive world has turned me into an unemotional brute. I initially had horrible sleepless nights but now i have become used to it and now i know how to handle the situations. ",he said faking a smile on his face .

  After a deep silence, i mustered up courage to speak again. "Do you meet your parents very often?" "No mam,i visit them only during holidays and that  too, i don't interact with my father at all .Actually our  relationship has become a painful stigma for both of us .I can never respect my father like before and he can never love me unconditionally. Mam,zindagi kya chahti hai, samaj me nahi aata ,vo  to suna hi hoga mam,  ......................kab mili thi,kahaan bhichdi thi,yaad nahi

Zindagi,tujh ko to bas , khwab mein dekha humnei..."I only imagine life i love in my dreams,you know!

 I was all praise for his poetic nerve when he said ,"Mam, even today i am fond of composing poetry whenever emotions overflow .Anyways mam,one mystery got resolved today that you were unaware of the happenings otherwise i would have always blamed you for bringing miseries in my life.Aghast, i looked into his melancholic eyes but couldn't dare to face them for long." Not knowing how to react, i again enquired, "Have you ever talked to Roopi about your  fondness for her later on?" "Actually mam ,i and my brother don't have phones.When i visit my parents, i am allowed to use laptop with internet connection  only for a limited time period.Last time i got in touch with Roopi but i am not in touch with her for long."

Suddenly i saw the swollen and bleeding toe of his left feet."Oh...fffff...what has happened to your toe? showing a motherly concern, i asked him affectionately. " "nothing mam,chalta rehta hai.I had got an infection  and the doctor just pierced it  mercilessly with a knife to press out the pus and expected me not to groan or moan.Vaise bhi  dard ki aadat ho gayi hai mam ,ab dard hota hi nahi hai......" This excruciatingly painful statement hit me  hard .After that we talked for a long time as if i was trying to soothe his blistered soul. One hour passed and we didn't realise it .At last he touched my feet and took a leave .I watched him going away but couldn't get up to go home .This meeting had caused a storm in my mind.A volley of questions hit my mind."Preeti, were you right in taking that step in Aanand's case.? Did you save him from going astray or you simply ruined his childhood? So many ethical and moral questions kept on bombarding my mind.........but i remained clueless  and left that place with an impaired and suffering  soul.As i started the car,the mesmerising voice started echoing.........."jab bhi milti hai,ajnabi si lagti kyon hai,zindagi roj nai rang badalti kyon hai..............!"